How to become a Alpha male

There are hundreds of article on the internet and in magazines which give advice on how to become an Alpha male, the majority of them concentrate on things like body language and dressing well. Often they are talking about the end product, they talk about the traits and characteristic of alpha males without giving any actionable advice on how to  get there.

For example they always say you should be confidence. Just thrown out there like it is just a choice, like it had never occurred to you before. “Ow I should just be confident, that what I’m doing wrong” I find this relatively useless. What I’m going to try and set out in this website is a more actionable step to get to this point.

Often the other problem with the advice  is it comes from a view point of doing it to win over women. Most people think ow if I can become an Alpha male, women will like me and want to sleep with me (often not even sleep with you most the time men are just looking for female approval). The truth is women will want to sleep with you more,  Hypergamy is women’s natural state, meaning that they are always looking to mate with the Alpha male.

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as “marrying up”) is the act or practice of seeking a spouse of higher looks, socioeconomic, caste or status than oneself. The term is often used more specifically in reference to a perceived tendency among human cultures for females to seek or be encouraged to pursue male suitors that are higher status than themselves

The problem with this line of thinking is it’s in itself very beta and weak. Wanting to become all Alpha for someone else approval, it’s very externally referenced. The attraction from women is a byproduct. You should want to ‘become a alpha’ for yourself, for the piece of mind, for the ability to enjoy your life and to have power in the world.

One more prefix, I want to remind people of the definition of what the Alpha male is. He (or less regularly she), is the leader of the group, the person in charge. The one that everyone else looks up to for guidance, acceptance and approval. There is only ever one alpha male in one social group at one time. It is done by comparison, there is never a complete group of beta males, even in the bunch of depressed homeless men sitting around a burning bin their will be a pecking order and someone will be at the top. In your life you have regularly been both the Alpha male and the Beta male depending on what group of people you are with at anyone time.

Anyway with that prefix a side these are actions that I believe that are required to follow the road of Alphadom. I’m grouping the charatisistics / skill sets into three groups, understanding your world, mastering yourself and mastering your world. Her is a handy venn diagram which illustrates my points: 

What makes an alpha male

Understanding your world

If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.
-Sun Tzu

Before you can really start on any path of self improvement you need to start looking internally, you need to understand yourself, what you are, what you are capable of and why you want to do all this. Taking a really good honest look at yourself and your believes is really important.

If we compare this to planning a journey, their are a number of things that are really important to know:

  • Where you are starting from
  • Where you want to end up
  • Why you want to go there in the first place

But it more complicated than that, because you see everything through a lens. You have your own person lens these are made up of cognitive biases which in most place are common to everyone, then we have our own experience and indoctrination.

I believe very strongly in evolutionary psychology and this will underpin a lot of the writing that I will be doing on this website.

There is no government, no industrial-military complex, no economic system, no mass media that can reduce us to puppets and robots as thoroughly as the biological and environmental dictatorship have.
– F.M. Esfandiary, Upwingers

The majority of our community, science, human interactions have been built upon these instincts. Even if they can be fort against it is still the small reptile part of our brain which act as our underpinning motivator.

The next step is understanding the world that you live in. This can be broken down into multiple topics I would suggest to study economics, psychology, any of the sciences. Anything that helps you understand how the world works. In this blogs I will also look at PUA material which I believe is based in experience and is back up by a lot of evidence. PUA material when you exclude the snake oil sales men, is effectively putting evolutionary psychology to use.

There is lots and lots of things that can read or watched or taught.  But the greatest and most useful way to understand of the world usually comes from experiencing it.

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.
― Benjamin Franklin

First hand experience is also the best teacher because it is free of other people biases. In this day and age were everyone and their dog can write a blog, publish their own book, teach their own class. It is incredible important that you question everything and evaluate the information for yourself, also you must always be prepared to change your mind in the face of new information.

Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.
– Francisco , Atlas Shrugged

Becoming the master of yourself
Becoming effective in the world

These ar

  1. SocialAnxietyDisorderBeta says:

    Interesting and enlightening.

    I really want to become alpha 1 day, but I lack confidence

  2. thebody@ says:

    Doesn’t it feel wrong to try to rob natural born alpha males of their birthright?

  3. Name? says:

    Some feel that alpha males will lie and cheat to get what they want, but this only applies to men who are anything but alpha males. If you find you must trick someone into thinking you’re worth their time and energy, it’s actually evidence that you aren’t.

  4. R says:

    you’re not speaking of “alpha” in the biological context here. That is smart. however, “alpha” can have many connotations, depending on the situation, not so?

  5. Dave Bussdriver says:

    Evolutionary psychology is pseduscience and real sciences such as physics will never accept it. Biology and psychology latch onto it because it causes reactions, and thats good for business.

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