Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category


I have just skim read the book ‘Date like a woman think like a man’ by Steve Harvey. It could be considered ‘The Game’ for women. In that case, I believe it could be considered a good thing. However, I don’t think it would actually work. Now, if you were to actually write the game when for women, it would be a really short book. It would go something like this “marry young, lose weight, be affectionate“. This however would not sell and would not get a huge film deal. So this book has been padded at and am filled with crap. Some of it would actually work. However, there are some basic problems with the methods involved.

Main concept: use of affection as a tool to get the men to do things that you want him to do (primarily to commit).

One of the main concepts of the book is that women give up sex too easily, and therefore men are not willing to work for it. Now this kind of sounds like the same PUA concept of getting a woman to invest and therefore be more committed to you. Sometimes this will work. Its a pretty well-known fact that once a man has slept with a woman the first time his motivation to do it again is considerably lower. It’s like there is this very special kind of novel value to the first time you sleep with a woman.

However in practice, I don’t think this will work as well as is suggested. The problem is value. A relationship will only last if both partners have a similar value and no amount of withholding sex or affection is actually going to raise a woman’s value. Actually it is more likely to lower it since the man will find her cold and calculating.

This approach works primarily as a filtering method, rather than a method of raising your value. For example, one of the main premises in the book is the you should make a man wait 90 days before sleeping him. Now if a man does wait 90 days he defiantly commit, but the chances are he has no other options (chances are, he probably wouldn’t get laid in 90 days anyway). However high value men (you know the men women actually want to commit to them) are going to have other women who will sleep with him. So she going to lose her chance at wooing him.

This process would actually work to help a woman get commitment, but the way it works is by lowering the women’s standards. She would no longer be dating the players who are never going to settle down with her so she wouldn’t be wasting her time on them. However, she also wouldn’t have the shot at impressing the higher value guys who are looking for commitment. What this system has effectively done has filtered out all of the good guys and left her with a low value men, who would be desperate to commit. Seeing as most women overvalue themselves in the dating market. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it also isn’t the fairy tale the book is selling. They might as well, just bring out a book that says start dating ugly, poor and unconfident men. This would have the same effect.

To make the comparison to the PUA teaching again, this is the same as suggesting he learns all the tricks to fake value without actually putting any work in to improve himself. So learning things like pickup lines, negs and so on. Without actually learning how to improve themselves, or learn how to make a woman happy. These types of PUAs who can sleep with a really hot women but can never have a relationship with one.


The point that married men on average live longer than their unmarried counterpart has been brought out multiple times as an argument for two different things firstly people who are pro marriage and think that the point that men are more and more opting out of institution is a bad thing and secondly as an argument pro feminism (i.e. men are stupid and need women). I think this is an interesting phenomenon and have my own theory on it.

Firstly let men clarify what I believe to be the generally accepted explanation.

Women look after their man.

I believe the generally accepted concept is that a man without a women to keep him on the straight and narrow will drink too much, eat junk food, never get any exercise, probable start smoking weed, then crack and so on. The concept being that a woman in a man life will nag him to healthiness, cook him healthy meals, keep him from going to the bar every night. I doubt this is true, just the figures suggesting that after marriage both men and women start to put on weight suggest to me that whatever benefit women bring in cleaning up their lifestyle they add in general nagging stress and pressure to earn more at work, direct or indirect.

Here is my hypothesis:

Men who get married have a reason to live.

So this is a complicated one but hear me out. There is a fundamental difference in way women and men value themselves. Women are born and taught to have an inherent basic value, as the bottleneck of reproduction women are inherently more valuable than men. They are more valued without having to do anything. Women need to know this on a base animal level. So at the point that a ship goes down they have to be willing to jump in the lifeboat and leave their husbands to die. For the survival and success of our species on base level we have needed socially and biologically to value women more than men. This is why men have always been the primary people going to war, in a generation you could lose 90% of you men and the 10% left could impregnate the women and couple of generations later your population would be thriving. Lose 90% of you women and that tribe is probable never going to recover.

So where women have an inherent value, men value themselves by what they do.  They value themselves based on your jobs, their role as a father as a husband. A man who is married is much more likely to feel in his later year that he has a purpose to live. That he need to continue to look after his wife or take care of grandchildren. A married man automatically has some default role to fill.

It’s common for a man to die shortly after retirement, this I believe is connected to a man loss of the positive self-image he derived from his job. He had a purpose he had a reason to live.

With the MGTOW movement and the grass eating males of Japan, I think this is going to be the biggest challenge that they face. If you want to live longer without getting married then you need to get a positive self-image from somewhere else, be it a cause that is bigger than you.


The Marketing phrase “because your worth it” has been around since the mid 2000. This is just part of the ego rubbing of women that advertisers use to lubricate their purses, and made them demand that men pay more for the pleasure of their company.

Because your not worth it.

Let me just do a little lesson in economics, something is worth exactly what anyone is willing to pay for it. A woman may decide her value in the sexual market equates to wining and dining, and faithful monogamy with an alpha male, but if no one is willing to buy at that price then she is NOT worth it.

The main problem is that women are starting to value themselves based on advertising fed hypergamy and by the valuation scale that they use for men. For example an assertive, intelligent women with a successful career in her 30’s, thinks she is worth a man with slightly better traits at least. The problem is you don’t buy grain with grain, a man like that is looking for a hot feminine women in her 20’s and he has the values that she is looking for in exchange (this is a good deal).

All her career and confidence are either completely invisible to the guy or a negative when it comes to considering her as a partner.

In this day and age there is millions of post wall women, desperately trying to find a man now that their value has dropped through the floor, despite all the time they spent investing in their careers that no man give a hoot about.

So as far as business goes I believe this demographic is just going to get bigger and bigger and what with their large incomes and willingness to spend. I predict we will see more and aggressive ‘because your worth it marketing’ aimed at the post wall women.

If you want invest in shares in the future go for, cosmetic surgery, matchmaking services, cat toys (any child replacement stuff), fertility treatment, pre-punctured condoms manufactures (built for maximum leakage). Anything that pander to this wealthy, growing demographic.

Online dating versus PUA training

Posted: February 16, 2013 in Game, Relationships

Online dating versus PUA training

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If a women chooses to have child, without the fathers consent and cannot support it herself. We should shame her. Now I’m not talking about mother where their husband have left them or died. I’m talking about this situation where a women (who has all the control in the world) has got herself pregnant and decided to keep it knowing full well that someone else would bear the cost.

What wrong with Single mothers? 

Well lots. Lets look at what are arguable the three biggest problems in the world today: over population, the economy and the environment.

You might pick three other things, but I pick these three because these are the ones that are most likely plunge us into the dark ages and possible kill us all. That my reasoning, your welcome to your own.

Okay let me in first connect the dots here. Single mothers are producing children they cannot support, the point they are producing children at all add the over population part of the equation, the children produced in single parent families are much less likely to be productive members of society.

Here is some cheery stats:

  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
  • 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
  • 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.

This is where it add to the economic side of the equation, the government is having to support these single parent families rather than pay off our big arse debts. Secondly the children raised in these families are much less likely to be productive members of society.

Not to mention the father in the majority of these situations the father are robbed of the chance of raising a child on term that he would have liked, often leaving him  demoralized and unable to afford to start a more conventional family and less likely to bust his gut in his career just to give the money to a kid he never see and a women who ruined his life.

This is on the increase, here is the breakdown over the years:

single-parents-growth-1960-2010

The environmental thing really just connect to over population.

So I declare we SHOULD shame single mothers.

(Without the fathers consent and an inability to support it herself)

Okay sounds horrible right. However if you agree with the premise that this is a problem and this is on the increase and without something being done, we are most likely going to end up in a country / world in a complete mess. At some point we will need to do something about it. Here are the other options that spring to mind:

Forcing sterilization / abortions. 

Well we can’t afford them, we can’t feed ourselves any more. We need to stop them before the kid is born. You can either start sterilizing people and get them to apply to have it reversed or we can start state enforced abortions.

Leaving children to starve in the street. 

Stop all funding to help children and let them starve in the streets. This is already pretty common place in 3rd world countries and we know how pretty that looks.

Start killing people.

People are getting in this nasty habit of living longer and longer these days and if we are pumping out more and more kids that are just so damn cute. then we need to get rid of some of the people that kicking around. We could do this on a merit based system, money based system or just get rid of anyone over a certain age. Sally Gearheart (Previous head of gender studies at  San Francisco State University)  believes:

The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race. — Sally Miller Gearhart

That would go some way to reducing the problem, but I can see a couple of issue with that.

Okay so if your a sane human you probably don’t like the sound of any of those solutions.

Evolution has always had restrictions on population growth and the most successful animal would be the ones that would hit the best balance between amount of offspring and the chances of their survival.  So if food was sparse a bird would only have a couple of eggs since the chances to 2 well fed children surviving would be much higher survival than 10 starving ones and on top of that in the wild if you couldn’t provide for your children they died.

This system still applies to humans, resources will limit our survival, it just the whole horrible reality of the situation that is not realized yet. We have not had to watch the children starve with our own eyes.

In our world the state has stepped in and basically provides for children in the occasion that the women can not, this has effectively removed the fear of her children death, allowing her the luxury of having as many children as she wants. Yep she might not live in a life of luxury but if her driving force  is to reproduce then she can do it.

Stuff like this I think is really dangerous:

Single-Mothers-by-Choice-9780812922462

Again the women with tons of cash, or lesbian couples or people with a great family support system. These people are taking responsibilities are okay in my book (unless it against the father wishes). But ‘shaming’ I consider really a call for these women to take responsibility for their actions. Kids cost a lot of money, kids brought up without a support system are much more likely to be messed up and you are dragging everyone else into the equation at the same time.

These are some things that I think would have a good thinks that could help:

  • Remove any stigmatization around abortion and passionately call out anyone who is pro life, anti abortion. These people are leading us to a much more likely armageddon than any of their religions predicts.
  • Men, wear a condom. Getting her pregnant can ruin your life just a bad as any STD.
  • But above all else, stop any one blocking the male pill. Giving men extra power over who they get pregnant will go a long way to helping sort out this problem.

wileycoteymoment

As we covered in a previous post about sexual market value, women have this sharp cliff like drop in value around the age of 30 this we refer to as the Wile E. Coyote Moment. It come in about here, it would vary depending on how well the women looks after herself:

Sexual Value Wile E Coyote

The girls from Garfunkle and Oates did a great song about it here. Enjoy!


This is part of my dating advice clinic
Okay Xinner gave me a chunk of stuff to work with. But to break it down here is his ‘stats’. 27 year old, not bad looking guy 5’9 lives in Dominican Republic, Santo Domingo.

The reason I picked Xinner to cut my teeth on is because he has something I find very interesting ‘Aspergers’ now I’ve been out winging with a guy once who had Aspergers and he was a machine from a PUA point of view.

Aspergers is as much of a blessing as it is a curse. Most people start of with a whole bunch of cognitive biases and are so deluded by their emotions, which is often the main cause of any problem they have.  I see someone with Aspergers as a blank canvas they start with none of these biases but they also start with none of advantages. Xinner said in his form:

I’m an ASPERGER that has learnt to adapt, changing the bad aspects of it, and using the positive ones to my favour. *(took me 3-4 years of hard work)

Now I’m no expert in Asperger’s and so this really is from should not be taken as gospel.

But the important thing here is Xinner goals:

 My dream life would be either to have a perfect relationship where there’s no infidelity or cheating, and a lot of respect.  If I don’t find that, then I want the whole opposite. Lots of sex and different girls and pussy.

Now I’m going to concentrate on the first one the prefect relationship. If you want the Lots of sex with different girls then I recon you could achieve this easily, just stick the mystery method, pre scripted routines will do you well, keep watching keep calibrating. Make sure your logistic are good so on. You could be a beast, confuse the fuck out of women with your natural aloofness. Keep taking your cue from body language and take everything they say with a pinch of salt.

But I don’t think that in the long run, this is going to make you happy. You also said this:

I’ve sacrificed 40% of my nerdness to open my eyes and I’ve added a lot of versatility to my personality. To the point that I can be in any given environment or with any type of girl and simply adapt myself to it and behave like it is my own territory. I learn fast…really fast (thanks to my Asperger issue)

The reason why this worries me is because at the heart of this, needs to be what would make YOU happy. If you are sacrificing nerdiness in order to explore the world and understand everything better and see what else you might enjoy then that great. If you are sacrificing you nerdiness because:

  1. You think that you should get married and have kids because society expects it of you.
  2. You think that real men screw lots of women

Then that sad and will lead nowhere good. It’s the difference to be internal referenced and externally referenced. If you are looking outside of yourself for validation then you rarely be able to live up to it.

So really consider why you want to bother with women. These are creature that runs by a completely different set of rules, which the logic is dumbfounding.

So you have the option to be a happy nerd, surround yourself with obsessive nerd friends. I’m a nerd, lots of my favorite people are, and in my opinion a lot of Alpha males are.  A lot of the time men look to women to provide them with a positive self-image, if you are doing this you will always be tied to whatever her whim is at that point.

But if you’re sure you still want to do this read on:

Bear in mind guys without Asperger are confused as hell by women too, so you are not alone in this you may even have an advantage.

The problem when working with a trial and error system (like you are) you need a lot of goes.  With pick up this is fine, however with a relationship since they take longer and you don’t have as many chances to fail, this is bad.

Worse still you are not going to be able to rely directly on her feedback, i.e. what she says. Even her body language isn’t going to be reliable, since women moods change of a number of reasons, for example women dress more slutty when they are ovulating.

All I’m going to try and do here to my best ability is give you method to see when you are doing well (that should hopefully give you some ability to do some trial and error within the relationship, without having game over) and to try and give you a frame work of the way the women mind works.

Let’s start with basics of how the woman mind works.

Women will be rating you on a subconscious level on these factors Value, Security, and Fun. Value is what perceived value you have. Men and women calculate value in different ways. This is a graph I did for another post of how terrible feminism is.

idealpartner

Security is how secure she feel that you will stay around and look after her. Fun is how much she actually enjoys your company.

Value too low: She will leave you because she thinks she can do better.
Security too low: She will leave you thinking she is wasting her time because you will not commit.
Fun too low: She will leave out of boredom.

So if we imagine these as stats, like in a computer game. Now different girls have different requirements, usually dependent on different things. Women in their teens to early 20 will be more interested in fun, women late 20s will be looking for value, the older a women get see will want more security (primarily because her value would have dropped considerable).  But women in general will vary a lot.

PUA and ‘game’ is primarily based around faking high value and bringing the fun so that you can get a woman into bed. It is less help in a relationship, where anything faked will be quickly seen through.

To keep a high value girl, you are probably going to have to be high value. DHV stories and furry hats won’t work.

Okay back to the stats. For a strong relationship what you really want to do is keep all these stats as high as possible. So just do actions that increase the stats, simple eh.

Well no.

The problem is these values are all in her head so they are perceived values, which she is going to calculate by looking at your actions and the way the world treats you. For example lets give a simple thing you can do.

Buying flowers for a women. Now this will say to her I am very much invested in you, I want this relationship to work, and therefore I will do sappy things to make you happy. Bang, +5 to your security score great. But it also says that you think that you are not good enough on your own i.e. you think you are too low value for her and therefore need to close the gap. So you effectively get -5 from your perceived value.

In the reverse say cheating on her, this could effectively do the opposite. -20 to security (your clearly not that committed) but +20 to value (you have options).

Now women are naturally hypergamous, so they are looking to get higher value than themselves and the since women are calculating their worth by what value man they can get sleep with them (which is considerable higher than the value of a man they would be capable of get into a committed relationship with) they perceive there personal value as very high.

Plus you probable want a young and hot woman; they are the worse the value they place on themselves is through the roof, since society is constantly reinforcing this.

10 times as many relationships end through the women, on an unconscious level, calculating that they can do better and then engineering a reason for the relationship to end. They may use multiple excuses, I don’t think we are right for each other, I see you more as a friend, or just creating arguments out of seemly nothing.

This is rationalizing after the fact.

But the fact remains there are hundreds of stories of women staying with men that are bastard, and rationalizing why they want to stay with them “yes he hit me but I love him”.

ifwt-rihanna9

Rihanna’s value is through the roof, but she keep going back to the guy who smashes her face in!

This is simple to explain under this system, it’s the reverse. Treating women like a piece of shit is being translated as he is super high value. Then they are just rationalizing after the fact that they ‘love’ them and using that as an excuse to the world why they stay with them.

Okay now I’m not telling you the way to keep a woman is to beat her. What I’m saying is you need to be aware of how the system works. You say that you want good women, who you can love trust and so on. Unfortunately all women run by these rules albeit on an unconscious level.

The example that you see where it has work out, is where the man is of high value and the women has treated him well.

Breeding has always been a risk for women, sleeping and committing to a man who was unable to protect and provide for her would likely mean death in the past.  So they play by these rules, ignore the rules of the game at your own peril. Don’t hate the players, hate the game.

However what you can be a little reassuring is as women get older their option shrink and it is easier for you to live up to their required value.

You can improve your chances by doing any of these things:

  • Legitimately increase your value as much possible, earning power, physical fitness, social confidence / competence, increase your social status.
  • Pick a woman from a social circle which is not full of high value men, you will be compared to the men she associates with most of the time. Picking a nurse or a teacher is a good call because these are primarily female populated jobs. The bar she will hold you against will be lower.
  • If you can find one, pick a nerdy women, shared interest could really build a bond between you. The more you have to sacrifice your own happiness to fit her more the more miserable you will be.
  • Win over her friends, her friends judgment of you matters.
  • The way you describe El Caribe“Lots to cheating, hot girls, hot weather, lots of beaches and bitches too. Relationships are not taken too seriously here. It’s like everyone does everyone.”  Clearly you already understand that this environment is going to cause you problems. Move away as soon as possible, especially if you marry.
  • Learn to control the frame and talk about yourself in a positive light. If you think you’re worthless she will agree with you.
  • Picking a women who parents are still together massively increase the chances that you won’t divorce.
  • Frame Asperger’s as if it makes you fucking super human. In a relationship you cannot hide the fact that you have Asperger’s, but learn to be damn proud of it, even a little arrogant. As a man victim hood is a complete turn off. Remember to mention the long list of super achiever who have Asperger (Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Friedrich Nietzsche), never let it get framed as a weakness, she should be damn lucky to find a guy with Asperger and you feel sorry for the other guys who don’t have your advantage.
  • Also you kind of have age against you. Men value tends to start to peak at around 30.
  • Learn to look after your finances (one of the most unfortunate realities that most people don’t want to admit is that a successful relationship is often underpinned by financial stability [Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki]). Women would not date a guy without a job for any period of time, no matter how good looking/funny he is (this just indicates how important finances are in most instances).
  • The lower value woman you date, the more you should be able to trust her.

So that my advice on how to play the game. This is next bit is slightly harder. How to tell if you are doing well or badly.

Now first thing as I mentioned women moods change. You need to think of them like the weather, some days they will be good some days they will be bad. You need to be more like a rock that weathers the storm. Perceived value is the golden rule, her mood at any one time is less accurate indication.

The best indication of your value is the investment she is making, i.e. the more time and effort she is putting into the relationship. The more investment the better you are doing, the less investment she is valuing you less.

I would like to leave you with talking about this bit though.

“Right now not as good to be honest. I thought I was on the right track, but caught my girl hiding things again,  <_<.  Not doing bad things, but just hiding things, which for me, means a lot, because it makes me not trust her. IF you hide 1 you hide 2. And then you hide 3.”

Firstly you clearly are on the right track you are tracking your progress and you are improving.  But If I was you I would try not to get too worried about this. It in itself it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you get more worry about it she will hide more stuff from you. You need to not sweat the small stuff, she just as likely to be embarrassed about something as she is to be cheating on you.

It could be a problem, but until you are sure, don’t let it bug you. High value guys aren’t spending their time worrying about women leaving them. If you cannot trust her she won’t be able to trust you. Unfortunately you need to be the vulnerable one and lets your guard down. You may get hurt, but that life.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

– Lord Tennyson’s

This was part of the dating advice posts I’m doing. If you would like me to give you some advice. You can read my primary post here. Or just fill out the form here:
DatingAdvice