The following was a post from a private forum by a guy who goes by the alias of Altitudes. He does not sell any product or nor is he trying build some kind of guru celebrity status. He is just just a very sorted, intelligent, Alpha guy, with some crazy women skills, who has been very generous giving back to the community.
This specific post really rang true with me and it also highlights some of the worst parts of the ‘Pick up’ community.
—- Follow is the orginal post —
5 Reasons Your Game Sucks – My Take….
In my opinion, the following issues affect women in their love-life difficulties just as much as they affect men in their dealings with women.
Here are my thoughts:
You’re not in it for the girls; your main motivations are different and unhealthy:
A whole host of factors can motivate why someone feels compelled to focus on their relations with girls. It has often been remarked that lots of guys are probably here because they seek approval and acceptance from other men more than anything else. Others do it to consolidate their reputation as a coach of some kind. Others are deeply insecure about themselves and seek constant revalidation of their attractiveness in the feedback of other people.
Ironically, guys are often quick to dismiss a girl who has slept around a lot as clearly doing it because they are insecure; but then they never make the connection that those problems are coming up in their own self-image and ultimately underlie their behaviour in chasing women all the time.
On the other hand; the guys that are happy and big womanisers usually just really love girls. Once Ryanimal mocked someone on here about this: he stated that the guy had ‘lost his way’ because he wanted a ‘skillset’ more than he wanted a girlfriend. Lost his way indeed.
You’re generally a failure in life; but think that you can quickly get good with girls:
The classic ‘quick fix’ seeker. Often we cannot see the woods for the trees. We often cannot see that each area of our lives affects the other areas. These are the guys that for some illogical reason will not take the holistic approach. Always looking for the low-effort and self-evidently ineffective alternative.
– Guy has shit job… and seeks cheeky lines to diffuse the situation when girls inevitably ask ‘so, what do you do?’
– Guy has no friends… and rationalises to himself that he is an ‘introvert’ or something, or if he’s on here he’ll ask about ‘sarging solo’.
– Guy has no passions or interest in life… and asks dating coaches how to be an interesting person.
– Guy generally looks and dresses like shit… and blames girls for being ‘shallow’, in spite of wanting a girlfriend with blonde hair and huge tits. The time he could use in a gym, learning about a healthy diet or understanding a bit about fashion is squandered in favour of bickering over ‘do looks matter?’ on the internet.
On the other hand, guys get good at game when they have a pattern of success in their lives. The ones who progress quickly are usually prepared to take a hard look at themselves and address things over a longer timescale.
You cannot take a pragmatic approach to situations:
This is the problem of assigning an emotional meaning to all or most occurrences, and then wallowing in defeat… While not realising that this creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Pragmatically speaking, if you approach a girl she’ll either be into you or she wont. THAT IS IT.
The kind of mental baggage that guys allow to grow on top of this is truly astounding, and it clouds their vision, thus ruining their interactions and making their game lousy.
Commonly, guys will see everything as some sort of indictment on their ‘value’ (whatever that means) – and consequently they bumble around like a house of cards ready to fall.
I could say to a guy, ‘Look mate, all you need to think is she’s hot, that’s one for me!… and then get on with it!’ And let whatever happens happen. Immediately people will retort, ‘oh, but it isn’t as simple as that for everyone!… But what if this?…. What if that?!’… and so the guy will nourish his own self-sabotage.
The guys who are able to take a pragmatic approach to situations aren’t invincible, but they are capable of stepping away from their emotions, looking at things objectively, and calming themselves down. This can apply to all sorts of scenarios. Isn’t the ability to do this one of the defining features of being a man? I think so. So do the women when they say cryptic things like ‘where have all the real men gone?!’… Did it ever occur to you that women want you to be confident and successful and not a nervous wreck?!
You’re too self-absorbed to empathise with and connect with other people:
This point is very similar to my last point. It follows on from it really.
Most people are too wrapped up in their own nonsense for their own good. When you’re got more issues that The Beano, it is very hard to concentrate on much else; like the person you fantasise about sleeping with for instance. If you cannot pay attention to a girl enough, you’ll have no natural and instinctive feeling for what to do.
When you see the guys that are good with girls, they absolutely DO NOT make it look hard, do they?! It looks effortless when a cool guy has a hot girl all over him. This is the by-product of being attuned to what is going on rather than having a racing mind speeding up its own demise with paranoia.
The sensible person can see the human condition for the joke that it really is. Everyone is too worried about their own insecurities to pay much attention to yours. Nobody sees the irony of this! If you can really get this, see how funny it is, and then just step out – you’re basically flying above the race.
There is no passion in your experience of and attitude towards sex:
Self consciousness (as described above) is rampant when it comes issues of sex. And this seriously hinders the pursuit of sex. Our emotions are contagious, and, well… Good luck trying to seduce that girl that you’ve just made self-conscious and frightened.
Sex ought to be understood for what it is.
It is part of the miracle of new life, and the most fun two (or more) people can possibly have together.*
Why then, do many guys have little passion or excitement for it? I think for many, sex becomes nothing more than a bodily function. In the same way that a urinal is the preferred receptacle for piss; a girl becomes the preferred receptacle for cum – preceded by mediocre sex and followed swiftly by sleep!
Girls hate that. Your game will suck if you cannot create an exciting and non-judgemental atmosphere for girls to have sex with you in.
THE END. DON’T ARGUE WITH ME…. BECAUSE I’M RIGHT.