One of the theory of the to do with PUA theory. Is that you have people who offer value in a social situation and people who suck value. This makes sense however their isn’t much specifics about what value is.
So these were my thoughts on ways a person can offer value:
Raising a person status by association
Sometime being around someone can provide you with a certain amount of status. People want to have a group of friends, who are beautiful, rich, interesting and famous. Because it reflects well on them.
Raising someone status directly
You can provide value by ‘complimenting’ people. This is often done badly and you often lower your own value by doing lowering your value (by making you seem needy), which is a killer for pick up. Also lots of people are not comfortable with complement so it make them feel awkward. Often done best by singing someone praises to other people.
Allowing someone to be comfortable beta
Okay this is one I’m not sure about, this sort of comes from my thinking about, some people are simple not within their comfort zone being in charge. Being the Alpha male for example is hard work and requires risk (or at least perceived risk). Most people do not want the responsibility of being in charge, say you suggest a restaurant/ bar and it sucks, it’s the Alpha fault. Most people are glad when someone else takes this responsibility out of their hands. In extreme cases I’ve even known people who have trouble deciding on drinks, and like other people to decide.
This one is big one in the PUA community the concept of being the person that keep everyone entertain, be it magic, jokes, stupid dancing …
I think this is similar to entertaining, but it’s more about moulding the situations. Being the person who strikes up conversation with strangers, gets you to go on stage with the band, get you to try drugs. The person who makes an evening exciting, the difference is an entertaining person would make a night in a pub pleasant; an exciting person would turn it into a pub crawl on stolen golf carts, with strippers.
I think this is a bit like allowing someone to be comfortable beta. I have friends who are trained marshal artists. When I’m out with them, I’m activity more calm in some circumstances. Just their presence makes me worry less about external threats (even though I haven’t been in a fight for over a decade now).
Human are social creature and they crave connection with other, someone to listen to them an audience, the need to feel like they are interesting and important, if someone spends too long on their own they tend to go a little stir crazy.
Teaching them something
Like when you are out with a PUA trainer they are providing value because they can show you how to do something. That is of value to you.
Providing a social circle
Something that people can offer as value is access to a social circle, the ability to invite people to parties and introduce them to fun people.
This would ability to provide things to for people as a way of offering value. For example, buying rounds of drinks, giving people lifts, buying flowers so on. Sometime it can be slightly less money orientated like having a flat so that people can meet, being the designated driver so on. I works in the same way though as complimenting people if done badly it can lower people view of you are you seem beta and subservient, plus it cost money.
This is a little like teaching them something, but sometimes it just doing things for them. I have a friend who boring as hell, but man can he roll one hell of a spliff, in the right circumstance he in the most important person in the room. Being the person who knows there way around London’s hotspots is often a value raiser.
Providing a good positive vibe
If you hang out with miserable negative people they bring you down, if you hang out with happy positive people you feel more happy and positive. Even without being entertaining or exciting just a positive carefree vibe is in way providing value.
Provides good sex
I dont really need to explain this one
On some in of unconscious level we are all slightly driven by the ability to get hold of the best genes to pass on to our next generation. So we value interaction with people with good gene slight more with percieve bad genes.