Last night I had a very weird session with Alex Love from A42. Now I’ve had a couple of session with Alex before they are always interesting, this time was a dosey.
Primarily when ever I talk to Alex it about normalizing this with who I am and what I want. My idea is I really want to start to drop any kind of gamey behavior in order to get a bit more natural plus to start enjoying the procedure. Alex is convinced this is because I’m not playing from my strengths. That rather than having the stand up mindset of:
I must do exactly the right thing to entertain this audience (seduce this woman) and personally be a success.
I should go from the improv mindset that is:
I must be generous, fun, and brave so that everyone enjoys this show (interaction) as much as possible.
This I had kind of forgotten. I need to keep reminding myself. It damn good advice and transforms my game astronomically, the big shocker actually was something that Alex said to me in yesterday sessions. I can’t remember the exact words but it was something down the lines of. “You are just so jaded, you are bored by this experience, it’s less of fear and more of the point you already decided you don’t like people before you meet them.” now this was painful to hear but it was sort of nailed it on the head, in part.
I’m building myself up to a sort of superiority complex combined with having been treated badly by society as a kid, part of me just doesn’t want to talk to people. You then add in all the extra game theory which treats women as the enemy, looking to shit test you, judge you, presume your trying to sleep with them, then add in the concept that you need to be a super alpha chest beating Silver back gorilla in order to really turn women on. I’m starting to become a bit messed up.
So we started to work another immortal phrase that came from Del close:
… performers needed to have the utmost respect for one another- that if they treated each other like geniuses, poets and artists, they could become that on stage. – Del close
I need to start looking at the people I meet and around me, rather from the point that they are probable boring automatons who are just copies of the hundreds of people that I have met and found scary, that they are all loving geniuses, poets and artists and that I need to find out what makes this person fun and unique. If I come from this view point it is a self fulfilling prophecy.
I especially need to apply and force this frame on beautiful women and sporty guys, since these are the ones that I have given me such a hard time in school and therefore I have such a negative initial idea of.
Another phrase which was kicked around at iO that I loved was
Another phrase that was bounced around the “if your not having fun, your the arsehole” this I this sit into this as well. If I come super Alpha, avoiding all the shit test, still If I’m not having fun I’m the arsehole.
Anyway, in the end I had a brilliant night, only spent 3 hours in the bar, I spoke with 3 sets:
1 st set, women with painted faces. (I decided they were boring before really giving them much of a chance)
2 nd set, a cute girl who was wandering around the pub. Over to study theatre from Canada had to go to see a show. (I took her phone number will text her today.
3 rd set, I was kinda winging alex, talking to the girls that he didn’t fancy. (The whole thing was painful, I tried to be nice to them but they didn’t seem keen on talking)
4th set, I opened some girls sitting next to me on the platform, two polish girls one talked no English one spoke good English (I took her number, but she is only in the country for 10 days.)
All in all an excellent night, weird and also little to no alcohol consumed.
Anyway: My take away from this is: Alex thrives on questions. Just coming to him for a session is not enough you need questions.