What is an Alpha male?
The best standard definition is:
In social animals, the alpha is the individual in the community with the highest rank. Other animals in the same social group may exhibit deference or other symbolic signs of respect particular to their species towards the alpha.
The alpha animals are given preference to be the first to eat and the first to mate; among some species they are the only animals in the pack allowed to mate. Other animals in the community are usually killed or ousted if they violate this rule.
The Alpha males get:
- First picking of the female they want to mate with
- Respect and obedience from the other males
A group is always looking for the one member that is capable of best leading and protecting the group. This will be the alpha male. In the wild it would have been the strongest, in modern day life it is considerable harder to tell.
Combine this with the point that being the alpha male is generally situational. The man you would follow into war is not always the same guy you would want to start a small business with. In a single day you could find you’re functioning within 10 different packs, home life, meeting with the boss, beer with your friends, five a side football team. You probable have a different social standing in each group.
We all have stories of the McDonald assistant manager who fucks really hot employees even though outside the work place he is the biggest loser and the same type of women wouldn’t give him the time of day.
However it is possible to have an internal level of confidence and entitlement, which regardless of the situation will set you apart as the Alpha male.
You cannot force other people to accept you as the Alpha male, it is role which people award you with.
Being an Alpha male is not about beating the other males in to submission until they will follow you. The Alpha male is person the group decides is most capable to lead. This is a core principle to understand, it’s not about bearing your chest and flexing your muscles. It is about the group on mass deciding that you are the person who has their best intentions at heart, plus you are the most capable on delivering on the promises.
If you just physically dominate someone, they would do what you say and then avoid further interaction with you. That is being a bully, not the Alpha male. You are a threat rather than a leader, since the beta will not believe you have their best intentions at heart.
It is possible for a women to be the alpha male. It tends to be an conventionally unattractive, it is a very masculine energy.
In most groups the Alpha male does NOT want the role.
Even with the clear benefit of being the Alpha male, most people try to avoid the role. It’s hard work and requires a lot of risk. Being a beta male is easy, it’s comfortable and appears to have less risks. The buck stops at the Alpha male, they take responsibly for the decisions made, they need to protect the group in times of danger and should be the person first up. The betas get to wander about following rules and being patted on the head or corrected.
The Alpha needs to think and to take risks, 90% don’t like doing these things.
How to become the Alpha Male
I guess the big change here is to become someone who is comfortable being the alpha male. A hard shift in mindset to make. I know that I have actively avoided being the “alpha” in situations where I could otherwise have taken that rôle.
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